Feed Me!

I had surgery three weeks ago on my jaw. They broke it and realigned it and told me I couldn't eat for six weeks. I've halfway through my smoothie diet and I miss eating.

Eating is such a social event. Not eating lets you realize this. People chat and eat, and when there's someone at the table who's not doing much of either, they get kind of awkward.

There's also a lot of women who say "Oh, I should get that surgery" when I tell them I lost fifteen pounds. Well, it's a lot less expensive to get a membership to a gym, people. They've even got nutritionists on staff that can tell you what I've learned. If you drink a shake with protein and fiber, you're not hungry again for at least four hours. Or at least you can tell yourself this, particularly if you are going to be around people who are eating.

Yes, I miss eating, but I'm not eyeing every bite you take like you're insulting me by eating in front of me. I don't like eating (in my own little way) in front of people right now. I'm kind of messy and gross because eating with a half-numb mouth leads to drips. And people who are spilling food all over themselves are nearly as bad as people who aren't eating at all.

Strangers who talk to me get a particular look. This is why I hate talking to people and it makes me worse. Strangers get this look when I talk, like "is she retarded or deaf?" because I've got a lisp because of the retainer, and part of my mouth doesn't move because of the nerve damage.

Anybody reading this who doesn't know me is gonna think I'm all broken. It's not bad, really. I'll get better and someday soon you wont even notice it.

But I miss the social eating experience.