Stuff I've discovered this week.

1. Twitter.

My third post was about poop. As this is what I believe Twitter was invented for, I am content. Further exploring found me a girl, @kimmyisahorror, who I am now following with bated breath, waiting for her to reach her stated goal of 60 pounds and die of anorexia. This is also what Twitter is for.

2. Snuggies

Skeptical at first, but I got one at the company Christmas party last night as (probably the best part of) gift exchange. I wandered around the place where I work wearing a leopard print Snuggie and carrying a beer and laughing at my boss singing karaoke. Score!

Trying not to think that all a Snuggie or a slanket is, is a backwards robe. Whoever thought of this is a genius, and I hope they made a lot of money. Now wearing mine as a robe, and trying not to give myself a headache with the paradox.

3. Tim Minchin.

I don't know how I missed this guy. Awesomeness. Thanks, @neilhimself, for another great referral. Love your stuff.

Feed Me!

I had surgery three weeks ago on my jaw. They broke it and realigned it and told me I couldn't eat for six weeks. I've halfway through my smoothie diet and I miss eating.

Eating is such a social event. Not eating lets you realize this. People chat and eat, and when there's someone at the table who's not doing much of either, they get kind of awkward.

There's also a lot of women who say "Oh, I should get that surgery" when I tell them I lost fifteen pounds. Well, it's a lot less expensive to get a membership to a gym, people. They've even got nutritionists on staff that can tell you what I've learned. If you drink a shake with protein and fiber, you're not hungry again for at least four hours. Or at least you can tell yourself this, particularly if you are going to be around people who are eating.

Yes, I miss eating, but I'm not eyeing every bite you take like you're insulting me by eating in front of me. I don't like eating (in my own little way) in front of people right now. I'm kind of messy and gross because eating with a half-numb mouth leads to drips. And people who are spilling food all over themselves are nearly as bad as people who aren't eating at all.

Strangers who talk to me get a particular look. This is why I hate talking to people and it makes me worse. Strangers get this look when I talk, like "is she retarded or deaf?" because I've got a lisp because of the retainer, and part of my mouth doesn't move because of the nerve damage.

Anybody reading this who doesn't know me is gonna think I'm all broken. It's not bad, really. I'll get better and someday soon you wont even notice it.

But I miss the social eating experience.

I feel accomplished

I did stuff today. This is a big improvement over Tuesday, when I did nothing but get angry for about 45 minutes.

I took a final, and learned I made an A in a class. The two were not related.

I went house shopping.

I picked up a journal and fully intended to write in it, then got distracted by Internet. That's like a half-accomplishment.

I wrote a blog post! Hey, look at that.

I made my room not-cold by tacking up bedsheets over the winter-leaky window. This will make me even happier tomorrow morning when I emerge from my blanket cocoon.

And I have every intention of doing stuff tomorrow, too. All the stuff that I wanted to do today but was too lazy for.

But hey, I wrote a blog post!