I Am Beginning To Suspect I Am Over-Caffinated.

When I make coffee, I feel like I'm playing at being a drug dealer. Not that I have experience with dealers, but like one portrayed by the media.

I measure beans out into the grinder. The whirring sound comes at the push of a button, and really freaking loud. Even though there's no one else in the apartment, I look around guiltily.

I prepare the paper, smoothing the edges out just right. I have forgotten to buy new filters, and must rig a system using two paper towels and a paper clip. Any way to get my fix.

I bang on the grinder, tapping all the stuff out into the top so I can get at it without the bothersome blades.

I get out my measuring spoon. I scrape and tap, tap, so I get two tablespoons. I get a butter knife so I can scrape it off the top and make it perfect. Then I mess up my measuring by just tossing another half a spoonful or so into the filter paper, and just kind of adding about the right amount of water.

Then I wander away and do stuff while waiting for the pot to grow (I mean fill).

When my morning brain remembers that the pot's just sitting there, ready for me to smoke  drink it, I wander back over and pour a cup. I'm slightly disappointed, I should have paid better attention to how much water I use to cut my coffee. It looks weak.

I smell the cup. Which is a mistake because I think brewed coffee smells like ass.

(Not like actual ass. I'm using a cussword to demonstrate how bad I think brewed coffee smells. Ground coffee=smells great. Brewed coffee=does not smell great.)

Then I add my sweetener packets I stole from a restaurant. Hey, free splenda. Don't judge me. I shake and tap the vial packet to make sure all the air bubbles are out scientifically engineered sugar is at the bottom of the envelope.

Then I add two ice cubes because I am a wuss and hot coffee is too hot.

I even have a special spoon I like to use to stir my coffee.

Then I take my hit. Ahhhh.......

(I guess that pot of coffee wasn't so weak after all)